Monday, 26 March 2012

Star Trek vs. The Gelatinous Cube

Star Trek vs. The Gelatinous Cube

Its funny how sometimes we find ways to reference our lives ( and what's going on in them)  through the things that we enjoy or have known.

In University  I remember playing this one DnD game ( all of one session) in which my character met his untimely end at the 'hands' of one of the monsters there, a Gelatinous cube. This cube pretty much absorbs and destroys its prey, but its sort of slow. Now the thing is - in Dnd there are other members of your group. Theoretically you watch each other's backs, protect and defend one another. The general idea is that as a group you are far stronger than as an individual. When my character was captured by the cube, my group could have chosen to save him ( much as I had earlier in the game, when they ran into trouble); instead, they each opted to leave him to his fate and go on to loot, concerned only with themselves.  It was a choice, and while it was a game (so all in good fun)  their choice stuck in my mind.

By contrast, the other night I had a Star Trek dream. My geeky heart has loved Star Trek since I was very little -- I love the idea of a time when we all put aside the things that make us different and just work towards a positive future, together. I loved the technology, I loved the characters and the fact that at the end of the day they were there for one another, stronger as a team.

Among all the odd and scary dreams I've had of late I was really happy to get one that had Star Trek in it.
While I can't remember the details I remember that all the captains were there, and that -I- was the captain of the enterprise. We were trying to defeat this black hole that  had sprung out in the middle of the ship, sucking out all light and threatening the whole universe ( of course it was the whole universe. When I dream apparently I dream big!).  I was obsessed with finding some sort of beacon of light. It was getting frustrating, and it soon became apparent that I couldn't find it. I remember staring down at the black thing and feeling that fear just pooling in my stomach - and then there was Picard, his hand on my shoulder.

He smiled, and told me that I couldn't fight the black thing on my own. That I shouldn't carry the weight of the universe and think that single-handedly I could save it. Instead he told me I should focus in being the best captain of the Starship Enterprise that I could be.  I looked back at the black hole, and suddenly it wasn't as overwhelming. I had the strength of MY team, and together we would figure it out.

My team is my family. My friends, near and far. The kind words of those that have offered their help, that have sent me positive energy and prayers. I know their love and faith is the best thing in my life right now, and the biggest boost to figure out what comes next.


  1. Trying this again. I already gave the message to Ruthie to pass along to you but I'll go ahead and say it here too- my mom has talked with a lot of people over the years about what you can expect from cancer and the day to day stuff. I have no doubt that she'd be more than happy to talk to you about anything you're curious about (she was stage 4 too although obviously a different type).

    I was about 4 when I went with my parents to the big cancer center in Omaha. I don't remember much but I can tell you anything you like and what I recall from going with my mom for her last bout a few years ago.

    Also- I know we haven't talked in a long time but I just wanted you to know that you're in my heart while you're going through this. I never stopped caring about you. If you need anything at all, gimme a poke, no questions asked.

    1. Thank you very much Lee. <3
      Sorry it has taken so long to reply, but I'm only really dusting myself off now and marching on. You know I love you to bits, despite past disagreements; thank you very much for offering your support.

      I'm actually going to poke you on email, as I'd like to pick your brain about being a caregiver ( I remember when you went with your mom last time).


  2. What a great dream! How many people have Captain Picard giving them sage advice in their dreams?

    Your dreams seem to be really well scripted. I love how it has a clear structure and a very strong resolution. Most of mine that I remember always seem to deflate somehow...

    1. I thought so too! :) Turns out Patrick Stewart will be at a local convention around the time of my appointment, so I might get to meet the actor. Who knew? But the dream was very soothing and encouraging. It put things into perspective, I guess.

      As for dreams -- I always have very vivid, elaborate dreams. I can't remember most of them though, which is why I'm always taken aback by the ones that stick out.