Thursday, 12 April 2012

Wish I could think of a witty title just now...

CT Scan results and Appointment with the oncologist here were both today.
This morning we had to drive out to the Vancouver Cancer Centre downtown to get  my copy of the CT scan on cd. I want to have a copy of all my records, in case we need them to consult other specialists -- or just some missed and not sent ahead to the Tom Baker Centre.

Then we went for a creampuff. I'm aware that soon I will probably have to give up my occasional pastry, so since the bakery was right around there we picked a couple before we had to head over to Surrey to the  Fraser Valley Centre. Creampuffs were had, and they were glorious.  My appetite is getting better, and though my energy levels are still pretty low I'm slowly returning to some of my normal activities. Still have to take it easy, as I get easily worn out. I really miss my energy!

Dr. J and his resident Dr. C were really nice. It seemed a bit of a... pointless visit, because most of my questions he simply deferred to the TBC. He did reassure us that its THE place to be in Canada for this sort of Cancer, and the MOAS.  I got the distinct sense that he didn't really want to commit to any sort of treatment idea -- he's a chemo specialist, and  though he booked me for a follow up  he mentioned that any sort of treatment we can only discuss after I've been to  TBC and decided on a course with the doctors there.

The CT-Scan was a mixed bag, but at least we have it now and can forward it on to the TBC and Dr. Mack and Temple there. Hopefully with that ( and all the tumor markers and other tests Dr. J ordered) they will have a full picture and can advise us on how to best approach things from here on.

I still sit in those waiting rooms in a daze though - part of my brain refuses to believe that I have cancer. I suppose it will take my brain sometime to adjust.


Speaking of adjusting, our son has been having a rough time. He's a wonderful little boy, but he's terrified I'm going to die. We've tried to reassure him - we're going to the experts, I'm young and otherwise healthy, stubborn, etc... - but he doesn't want to be away from me for long periods, afraid something may happen. 

He tells me he's heartbroken, and its all I can think of that I wish my little boy didn't even know the meaning of that word.

So, trying to inject some more positivity and make him feel a little more proactively in control we've decided to drive to Alberta next week, instead of flying.  Partly its a financial consideration - chances are that once they clear me as a candidate for MOAS I won't have a date for several weeks for the actual operation, so we will have to all fly out then.  Also, this way we have a bit more flexibility.

Primarily though, we had been planning  a family trip to Drumheller ( Alberta) for the past two years, so we thought we will include it in this experience. This consultation doesn't have to be a scary, stressful time. We want it to be a family trip, to reassure him that we are still a family unit and a good, strong team. We got t-shirts made for the three of us!  We need to remember how strong we are together, and how that won't change no matter what may come in the months ahead.


  1. YOU will beat this. Spring is all around us and things ARE coming together. You will do this. We will do this. I can’t wait to see you, Chris and Aiden.

    AND... I LOVE YOU Baby.


    1. I thought you said there were no flowers in Alberta yet? Better bring some fake ones so it FEELS like spring... ;p

  2. btw, can i see what the T shirts look like please?

    1. Ula, this you? You'll see them in person soon. :)

  3. Aiden will love Drumheller! It's super fun for kids, we did it when we were younger. :)

    1. I think so! We've been planning it since early last year, but life derailed our plans so.. here we go! :) He loves dinosaurs, so I think it will be a blast.