When did May 7th get here? Chris and I were discussing how we seem to be stuck in this time anomaly - time CRAWLS but at the same time its slipping by so fast we can barely keep track of it.
I'm getting increasingly frustrated by the inability to plan ahead; I am the penultimate planner, and being able to do that gives me the illusion of control. Right now everything is in constant flux; I start to understand the wisdom of my friend Colleen in telling me to take it day by day.
There are days I am feeling great. I have bursts of energy, the mindfog clears and I feel almost like my old self. There are others (I'm looking at you, last week) where either the energy simply isn't there or a sudden spike in pain or nausea takes over. I have been trying to reconnect with friends here and there, but I had to cancel last minute because of the latter. I hate cancelling. I hate feeling like I'm letting someone down. I know I'm not - they were wonderfully understanding and loving as they always are. But when I'm asked 'Can I see you XYZ day?" I hate that the best I can say is that I'd love to, but we'll confirm that day.
Seeing the nutritionist did help - she gave us a great plan on how to keep the nausea down, which foods might be best to avoid and how to balance the diet out as I lose some weight and the jelly gains some. Happily eating small meals throughout the day ( instead of 3 big ones) and staying away from acidic foods has helped a lot.
So, much against my nature I'm taking it day by day. Chris is patient and wonderful... but that is no surprise, since he has always been the calmer half of the coin. ;) Aiden has been a little clown of late; the more he worries or if he sees me in pain the rowdier he gets. I get about a hug every half hour though, so can't complain. I could never get enough cuddles from the little guy.
This past week I was again reminded of the love and faith around me, the kindness that propels me onwards. My family has been amazing. Cousins scattered over the world, uncles and aunts -- they keep me in their thoughts and prayers, and send love my way in messages. My sisters and my parents.... well, what could I say of them? We may not always understand or agree with each other, but when push comes to shove their love and strength makes all the difference. My sisters have always been my little girls - its amazing to see them now as grown women.
Aiden's school ( thank you C. and K!!) helped take a lot of the stress of everyday cooking off my plate and Chris'; the moms in his class have been wonderful. I have a comfort basket too, so on the low days I open something up. I have no way of expressing just how amazing it has been to feel a community rallying around us and helping us get through this. There's our friends who dropped by with cookies just before the road trip, the friends that email and just let us know they are thinking about us and are there. There's the ones that hear us rant a little, the ones that cheer us on.
Thank you to all our friends in Japan, Colombia and all over the world too; Kazuko-baba, we got your charm the day before we headed to Alberta, so THANK YOU. <3 It feels that in every continent there is a thought going up for good luck...
The Goodbye Cancer Garden
...was eaten by aphids. We have never had them before, but I suspect they came along in one of the plants we'd gotten. After controlling them failed we took out the damaged plants and replanted veggies and herbs instead. :) There was something poetic about that !
With the help of my family our balcony garden is looking really lovely, and Chris and Aiden will be looking after it until I'm back home. I figure by then some of our crop might have come along, and seeing the plants grow and the tomatoes mature will help Aiden and Chris follow MY progress even if I can't be right next to them. They've also been instructed to send me pictures of our plants as they grow.
So the lineup!
- Our lanterns survived! They are growing strong and pretty fast!
- Two varieties of tomatoes and one heirloom tomato ( pineapple tomato or some such)
- MINT MINT MINT everywhere! I love the smell and in tea it helps with the queasiness
- Spinach! I love it, and we eat it like crazy here, so why not?
- Soybeans! :D A nod to Aiden, who is crazy about Edamame.
- SPICY PEPPERS OF DOOM ( Not sure of the variety. These are aaaaaalll Chris' )
- Rosemary ( yum!)
- Tiny little flowers of different kinds.
Appointment/ Dr. news
In other news, Dr. J came through and I have a consultation for my colonoscopy tomorrow. Hopefully the real thing will be soon too, as I have my vaccines on the 15th, phone registration for the Foothills hospital on the 18th ( when I will hopefully find out exactly how many days earlier I have to be in Calgary. It looks like 3-4 at the moment, so I'd be there right around the first weekend of June.)