I have a bit more energy throughout the day, though it comes and goes. I wasn't liking the feeling of codeine... Hard enough to move about, but all groggy from that was a no no. So far managing okay with just ibuprofen, though some times are better than others.
Eating is still a challenge. I amtaking my anti nausea and other meds, which has definitely helped... But the digestive system is still trying to sort itself out after all the manhandling. There is also the issue of appetite, which simply isnt there...it feels so odd. .
I have always loved food. I enjoy cooking it, eating it. I love trying to grow our veggies, going blueberry picking... Social ocassions over baked goods or a dinner with family are wonderful. Now though, food is this foreign being... I look at it and reecognize it, but my body just doesnt want it. I may have to look for alternatives for creating appetite; for now every meal I try to introduce a different food and see how it goes. Pasta seems a winner! .
What is this emotions thing?.
I am awake and alert more and more each day. Some are a better times thanothers; since now my uterus and the remaining ovary and bits are gone, I think the effects of early menopause are starting up. I see dr. T on tuesday, so hormone replacement therapy is one of the things I will ask about. .
Other possibility is that i am just shell shocked, honestly. Up to this point i had jutted up my chin and just marched forward, not really letting myself think too hard. Now there is a mix of hope and terror trying to balance out each other, and I suspect that may take a while. Chris has helped me through the moods... My calm, patient love.having my family here, hearing Aiden playing with his cousins...its amazing. Day by day!!! .
Any cards, drawings,messages... Thank you!!!! It makes my day to hear from you guys. I hope to make a scrapbook of all of them as I recover, to remind me of all that amazing love in the grey days. Still at my sisters, for mailing them. chemo will be in the fall, but not thinking about that now...day by day, as colleen told me...a little stronger, a bit more like myself.