This year was so hard, and so low at some points, that we needed something positive to focus on. We need to make GOOD memories of this year too! I don't want us ( or Aiden!) to look back at 2012 and go "Oh that was the cancer year."
No. Cancer doesn't get to take my whole year. This was also the year we got to travel by car across to Alberta, and see the Drumheller museum. The year Aiden got to see his first Calgary Stampede and spend time with his baby cousins. The year we re-affirmed our love and commitment to each other, and to our son.
Fact is, I'm still going through things. Tomorrow is cycle # 3 of my 12 chemo treatments. One quarter down!
Until my scan in December we won't know for sure how successful everything was. It could be there's new replicating nastiness in there -- but then, if there was the treatment would be the chemo that I'm doing right now. I can't live the next few months in fear and dread; I don't want to.
So, we will push through the lows and the crappy days and weeks. I am blessed with a wonderful family, with an amazing group of friends. They have rallied around us all this while, and seeing Aiden's happy face yesterday... it makes everything worthwhile. He knows he's loved, and that there are people there for him. Not just his amazing family, but an extended group of friends that have made it possible for us to manage this year. Life is about what you put out into the world, and I am more and more amazed each day by the kindness of people around us.
I am counting on that 6 month exam to tell me I'm in the clear. I'm counting on more years next to my little guy, and next to my big guy. But you can't control life and the curveballs it throws at you, so all that I can do is the best I can -- and celebrate everything I can, build new memories.
What wonderful new memories from yesterday! Tomorrow I go to chemo but I've loaded the photos onto my tablet, so I can stare at them all day. :)
My sweet boy! :)
And yes, that is a Dr.Who cake. ;) Its deliciousness and the wonderful decoration was done by our talented friend Lynn. :) We then put a Tardis with Rori and Amy up top - I'm more the reckless adventurer and Chris has always been my steadfast, amazing rock. Who better than the two of them? <3
Not ready to get on the Tardis yet, but happy to have many more adventures together.