Friday, 9 November 2012

The Waiting Game

I feel better since we stopped chemo.

Ever so slowly I'm regaining my strength. I am feeling like myself again, and day by day incorporating more activities. I am back to drawing, my eyesight is almost back to normal and I can actually feel my body healing from the onslaught of the chemotherapy. No more passing out, or suddenly going into shock! :)

I had a wonderful time celebrating  Halloween ( I was Snow White, heh) and my son's 8th birthday. We got to meet our new nephew, Connor, and show Aiden Tigh-Na-Mara, were we spent our honeymoon 12 years ago.  These were all things I wasn't sure I'd get to do, so they were that much sweeter.

Now I am focusing on health and nutrition;  my appetite has returned for the most part, so I am cooking again and incorporating more new foods every days.  Physical activity I am tackling slowly, as my energy is still rather low. While I have mostly healed from the surgery I still have the odd aches and still have to work up to my usual activities. I am enjoying these weeks as on November 28th I have to go in and have the port-a-cath taken out, which will probably make me achier for a while. Still, the thing hurts everyday so I will not miss it!

Early December I will have my MRI scan, which will be read both by my oncologist here and Dr. T. I wish they'd give me a date!  I'm told that I will likely not know until late November when it will be ( sometime in the first week of December or so); then I have to wait another 2 weeks to meet with my oncologist and discuss the results.

In the meantime I am also looking into alternative therapies, as recommended by a friend who is a chinese medicine practitioner.  I can't be on HRT either ( my oncologist discouraged it) so getting to know my body all over again is a bit of a challenge.

All that being said... I am happy.

I know that I have no certainties yet. Do any of us? I will wait for that scan with bated breath and hope that after everything we did this year it shows NED. And yes, I'm aware my particular cancer has a high probability of coming back sooner rather than later, but I have now met survivors 5, 7 years after their surgeries and chemo. And in 5 years, I keep telling myself, who knows what else will be discovered  in terms of treatment or perhaps even a cure?

In the meantime, life goes on. Today is a gorgeous autumn day, and I am going to spend it playing with my son.  I am drawing again, I am writing again.  The sequel to my novel is underway as is a Historical Compendium of the Yappari and Sidhe empires ( thanks to my sister's prodding); I am also working on a YA steampunk novel for my son and a kid's book about appendix cancer. The latter I am making together with my little boy, as I hope to make it something parents/ grandparents can use to make the explanations easier and a little less scary.

I have projects and hopes galore. So...onwards!


  1. Dear Apis,

    Thank you for your blog. I have two young children and was diagnosed with a high grade mucinous adenocarcinoma in my appendix back in May this year.

    I will certainly keep you in my prayers.
    All the best
    Tony (Australia)

    1. Tony, thank you for your comment! I will keep you in my prayers as well. If you haven't already, do check out the facebook support group ( appendix cancer) as well... there are so many of us! Tons that are farther ahead on this journey than I am. I hope it helps!

  2. It sounds like things are looking up for you my darling. Enjoy the autumn, it's always been one of my favorite times of year. (Alas I think it will soon be over for us in favor of winter here shortly). It is good to hear that you're feeling more yourself. Continued love and prayers for you as you go through the waiting game of future appointments and the sort. I will definitely be looking forward to more of your writings and arts.


  3. That's what I like to hear! Looks like you've chosen a lot to take on in the immediate future, which means you *must* be feeling better! :D

  4. Are you trying Chinese medicine? Be careful as many Chinese doctors are not to be trusted.