I feel better since we stopped chemo.
Ever so slowly I'm regaining my strength. I am feeling like myself again, and day by day incorporating more activities. I am back to drawing, my eyesight is almost back to normal and I can actually feel my body healing from the onslaught of the chemotherapy. No more passing out, or suddenly going into shock! :)
I had a wonderful time celebrating Halloween ( I was Snow White, heh) and my son's 8th birthday. We got to meet our new nephew, Connor, and show Aiden Tigh-Na-Mara, were we spent our honeymoon 12 years ago. These were all things I wasn't sure I'd get to do, so they were that much sweeter.
Now I am focusing on health and nutrition; my appetite has returned for the most part, so I am cooking again and incorporating more new foods every days. Physical activity I am tackling slowly, as my energy is still rather low. While I have mostly healed from the surgery I still have the odd aches and still have to work up to my usual activities. I am enjoying these weeks as on November 28th I have to go in and have the port-a-cath taken out, which will probably make me achier for a while. Still, the thing hurts everyday so I will not miss it!
Early December I will have my MRI scan, which will be read both by my oncologist here and Dr. T. I wish they'd give me a date! I'm told that I will likely not know until late November when it will be ( sometime in the first week of December or so); then I have to wait another 2 weeks to meet with my oncologist and discuss the results.
In the meantime I am also looking into alternative therapies, as recommended by a friend who is a chinese medicine practitioner. I can't be on HRT either ( my oncologist discouraged it) so getting to know my body all over again is a bit of a challenge.
All that being said... I am happy.
I know that I have no certainties yet. Do any of us? I will wait for that scan with bated breath and hope that after everything we did this year it shows NED. And yes, I'm aware my particular cancer has a high probability of coming back sooner rather than later, but I have now met survivors 5, 7 years after their surgeries and chemo. And in 5 years, I keep telling myself, who knows what else will be discovered in terms of treatment or perhaps even a cure?
In the meantime, life goes on. Today is a gorgeous autumn day, and I am going to spend it playing with my son. I am drawing again, I am writing again. The sequel to my novel is underway as is a Historical Compendium of the Yappari and Sidhe empires ( thanks to my sister's prodding); I am also working on a YA steampunk novel for my son and a kid's book about appendix cancer. The latter I am making together with my little boy, as I hope to make it something parents/ grandparents can use to make the explanations easier and a little less scary.
I have projects and hopes galore. So...onwards!