You don't realize you hold your breath every time, until the words " Everything looks perfect!" are uttered.
This year was a wonderful chance to remake memories too. Two years ago, I was recovering in my sister's home in Calgary, after my cytoreductive surgery. I was weak and couldn't really keep food down, so I was mostly house and bed bound for a bit.
One day I'd had enough, and I asked Chris and our son to take me to the Calgary Zoo, so that I could see it. I was going stir crazy just staying home! We went, but I couldn't eat anything ( except maybe water) as I was afraid of not making it to a bathroom. I was too weak to walk on my own, so we got a wheelchair from guest services and they wheeled me all over the place.
I had also not gotten to see Lake Louise or Moraine Lake, as when we had traveled for our consultation that April they had been frozen over, but they were places I longed to see and was afraid that I wouldn't get to.
On the way to Calgary we stopped at both lakes, and I took a ton of pictures at both. I got to enjoy them with my lovely dynamic duo and overwrite those memories. That first time I was in tears that it was frozen over, worried that I'd never get to see it ... and here I am, two years later drinking in the sun.
In 2012 I couldn't walk around the Zoo. I wanted to see it because I NEEDED to see something outside of the house, to make promises to myself of places I would see again. A. and Chris pushed me in that wheelchair, and we made as good as outing as we could before my energy ran out.
This year I went with my sister, niece and nephew as well as with my guys. This year we walked, and ran, played and ate ice cream. We checked out all the animals, laughed and posed in front of butterflies and plants. My memories of the Calgary Zoo are the wonderful ones that now overwrite those of that distant year from hell.
And this year?
My son got to meet Dr. T face to face, hold out his hand and say "Thank you for saving my mom."
Here's to making wonderful new memories from now on.